The Death of My Rufus

I have never had to go through a tragic death in my family. However, on June 31, 2008 my dog Rufus was put to sleep forever. I had Rufus from before I remember my earliest memory. As I grew older, I wouldn't play with him much but I still loved him dearly. He always made me feel better and he was such a sweet dog. He was always there for my family. He gave us plenty of funny memories, such as the time when he created a dog hotel in the backyard (his dog mafia). My father was mad!
One morning, my mother came upstairs crying. She woke me up and told me that Rufus looked gravely ill and she wasn't sure he would make it. I stayed by his side the rest of the day crying and praying to God give him more time. As Rufus left to the hospital with my father, I told God a very selfish thing. I told him that I would not believe God existed unless my dog recovered from his illness. When my father returned, he told me that the doctor was not sure what Rufus had but he would be okay in a few days. I was so happy. Things never got better, Rufus got worse and eventually was put to sleep. His life was taken in moment and I couldn't do anything about it. I stayed home and remembered my last goodbye's to him. Seeing his eyes full of pain killed me inside and that is what I remembered as I waited for a call from my father. My faith in God vanished. He became fake in an instant.
Weeks later, my parents made me go visit my church youth group. I didn't know anybody there well so I felt lonely. I just sat there and felt as if no one cared for me. The directer told me to put my head down and simply talk to God. I did. I asked why I wasn't important to him and why my problems were always put aside. Tears came to my eyes. As I cried I felt a hand on my shoulder. It frightened me so I looked over. Nobody was there. It hit me that the hand was God's and he was telling me that he has always been there for me and he never left me. He was going to help me get my life back in order and he did. My faith is stronger than it was before now. The death of my Rufus will always haunt me but I just use it as a reminder that God is real and he is with me.